


Filling in the Blanks

by Aelia_Gioia



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Canon-Compliant, Friendship, M/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2020-06-26 10:40:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19766500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aelia_Gioia/pseuds/Aelia_Gioia
Summary: A series of random text conversations that fill in some blank spaces.I think I FINALLY figured out how to use this text skin properly! Go ME!As I complete new sections, I may have to move the chapter numbers around to make it chronological.Thank you all for reading!





	1. S3 E13

Stevie  
  
Best. Birthday. Ever.  
  
Details! I've been waiting all night!  
  
Wait - did you just get home??  
  
About an hour ago. My parents insisted on singing round after round of 'For He's A Jolly Good Fellow' to Alexis and me.  
  
Yikes.  
  
You have no idea. I'm pretty sure they were stoned.  
  
Your parents? How can you tell?  
  
I'm intuitive.  
  
Ok so enough of the Stone(d) Roses…  
  
Exactly how long have you been waiting for an opportunity to say that?  
  
Since the day I met you.  
  
Stop distracting me!  
  
WHAT HAPPENED?!  
  
So…lots of flirting at dinner.  
  
Obviously. He's always flirting with you.  
  
Not always...  
  
Whatever you say, Mr. Sloppy Mouth. What else?  
  
We actually closed down the cafe  
  
You had sex right there on the table and they had to close?!?  
  
You're so ANNOYING  
  
No.  
  
We were talking, sharing an ice cream sundae and all of a sudden Twyla was shutting the lights off. We lost all track of time.   
  
You shared a sundae?   
  
Cute huh?   
  
No I mean, you…shared something? Like, with another person?   
  
a DESSERT??   
  
UR an asshole   
  
Takes one to know one, Sister.   
  
Keep going.  
  
He drove me home and we were talking in his car. It was…electric   
  
That's probably the right word. There was this crazy energy between us.  
  
Hot.  
  
Very. So he's looking at me and…you know that look, like someone wants to kiss you? Well, I thought I saw it.   
  
!!!   
  
But I still wasn’t completely sure.   
  
David, I've seen the way he looks at you when you're not paying attention.   
  
Did he kiss you??   
  
No.   
  
aw, fuck.   
  
I'm sorry. Is my gaydar defective? I might need to get it recalibrated after your pansexual ass confused it   
  
I kissed him  
  
!!!!!!!  
  
I just did it…I leaned in, cupped his cheek and…bam.   
  
Tongue?   
  
No, but it was pretty fantastic. He smells SO good   
  
I love this!   
  
But then comes the best part…   
  
Dying…tell me!  
  
He smiled and thanked me.  
  
Ooh…thank you sir, may I have another?   
  
No, listen. He said he'd never kissed a guy before.   
  
Oh my god.  
  
Yup. He said he was scared he was going to let me get out of the car without us having kissed.  
  
Well fuck me sideways that’s the most romantic thing I've ever heard outside of a Nora Ephron movie.   
  
OMG IKR?!  
  
I've always been the Carrie Fisher, never the Meg Ryan.  
  
I'M MEG RYAN!!   
  
If anything, I'm Meg Ryan  
  
Because you're in denial about being in love with your male best friend?  
Number One: You Wish. Number Two: Carrie Fisher gets her happy ending before Meg Ryan   
  
Huh?  
  
When Harry Met Sally, Right?   
  
Yeah…   
  
Carrie Fisher marries Bruno Kirby waaaaay before Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal admit they love each other.   
  
Holy fuck, you're right!!   
  
I just beat you at romcom trivia. You really are off your game.   
  
YEAH BUT I'M KINDA SORTA DATING PATRICK!!   
  
Kinda sorta?   
  
Well I mean, it was one kiss, I don't want to get carried away.  
  
That's fair. Think it'll be awkward tomorrow at work?   
  
I honestly don't. I think this is the start of something, that's how it feels. I can’t stop smiling. My cheeks hurt.  
  
I told you I liked him for you! He's adorable.   
  
Stevie this town just got a whole lot more interesting.   
  
Sorry was I starting to bore you?   
  
I wasn't gonna say anything but…   
  
Ass  
  
I'm not going to be able to sleep.  
  
Yeah you will. Just…you know…   
  
?   
  
Did u think I didn’t notice the bottle of lotion next to your bed?   
  
Ew! I'm test driving that for the store!  
  
Didn’t know you were putting in a XXX section.  
  
I'm going to bed now.   
  
Is that what the kids are calling it these days?   
  
Goodnight Stevie.  
  
Night birthday boy.  
  



	2. S4 E4

Stevie  
  
Boyfriend, huh?   
  
Shut up.   
  
That was really cute, David.   
  
Shut up.   
  
What? It was!   
  
It was embarrassing.   
  
Maybe but Button enjoyed it. Did you see how happy that one little word made him?   
  
Ok, we are NOT doing ‘Button’.   
  
I heard Alexis say it, it stuck.   
  
Nothing my sister says about my boyfriend should be taken seriously.   
  
You said it again! You typed it!   
  
Oh my God. I’m using talk-to-text, I didn’t type anything.   
  
So wherever you are, you said it outloud again. Same difference.   
  
I’m at Ray’s.   
  
You mean you’re at Patrick’s.   
  
You’re at your BOYFRIEND’s place.   
  
Shut. Up.   
  
Why are you texting me instead of gargling Patrick’s hog?   
  
EW!   
  
You’re GROSS!   
  
Oh come on, David. Don’t pretend to be a prude. You know I know you better than that.   
  
True.   
  
He’s making me dinner. I’m outside halfway through a bottle of wine.   
  
Awww your boyfriend’s making you dinner?   
  
Yes, he is.   
  
I gotta get me a Patrick.   
  
You have a Jake   
  
And you, of all people, are uniquely positioned (no pun intended) to be able to understand the less than subtle differences between Patrick and Jake.   
  
Jake’s taller.   
  
And a slightly better dresser.  
  
Don’t be coy.   
  
Are you saying...   
  
What are you saying?   
  
You’re lucky that’s all.   
  
I’m not looking to settle down or anything like that but if I was, Jake is not exactly LTR material. Remember when I had that stomach bug a couple of months ago?   
  
Yeah  
  
Jake mysteriously got very “busy at work”. Who’s the one who brought me soup and tea?   
  
Patrick.   
  
But he’s just nice.   
  
All I’m saying is, appreciate that man, David. He’s a good one.   
  
I do. I don’t know why he likes me but   
  
GTG. Dinner’s ready.   
  
Enjoy your dessert.   
  
Oh I will.   
  
TTYL   
  
byee   
  



	3. S4 E5

Boyfriend  
  
Freaking out.  
  
Aww, my boyfriend is freaking out?  
  
Yes he is.  
  
Why is my boyfriend freaking out?  
  
BECAUSE your boyfriend has been cooped up with his sister in a car all day.  
  
That doesn't sound so bad.  
  
I'm going to murder her.  
  
Inadvisable.  
  
It's so much worse than it was before.  
  
Patrick?  
  
Patrick?  
  
Sorry Babe, I have my hands full with customers.  
  
What happened?  
  
I had to pull over so she could collect herself.  
  
What?  
  
We're almost at Warner Farms  
  
Ok, and?  
  
Ted is the vet Heather Warner uses.  
  
Ok...what am I missing?  
  
Ted is apparently servicing Heather as well as her livestock.  
  
Oh fuck.   
  
Um, yeah.  
  
Is Alexis alright?  
  
No not really.   
  
If I close early, I could meet you guys somewhere and bring her home...  
  
Thank you but we're almost there.   
  
So, is she going to wait in the car or something?!  
  
Maybe.  
  
I'll crack a window.  
  
Can't tell if you're kidding.  
  
I gave her one of my emergency xanax. She's a bit better now.  
  
If she really needs to be rescued, tell her to call me.  
  
this is gonna be so fucking awkward.  
  
I'm so sorry babe.  
  
Promise me something?  
  
Anything.  
  
Shit - wait- almost anything...   
  
No takesies-backsies...  
  
Damn.   
  
You got me.  
  
what am I promising you?  
  
Please don't ever break up with me.   
  
I have no plans to break up with you David.  
  
Because this town is just too small to co-exist with an ex.  
  
Ah. That's why we can't break up?  
  
Well, you're also pretty good looking...  
  
As are you.  
  
Ok, it's been a while and I haven't heard from you...I take it Alexis didn't need a rescue? Everything ok?  
  
Alexis secured the account for us. She did it.  
  
Wow! That's unexpected and awesome Babe! Tell me!  
  
We ate at the farm. Ted was there, it was SO awkward.  
  
Jesus - he was there?  
  
Mm-hmm. He clearly makes housecalls.  
  
Oh god.  
  
Alexis loves him.  
  
Not quite a major newsflash.  
  
Like, duh.  
  
Except she admitted it.  
  
To Ted?!?  
  
God no. She'll never do that.  
  
I asked her before she fell asleep and she said yes.  
  
Poor kid.  
  
She needs a big hug.  
  
She needs a big something.  
  
Speaking of which...  
  
?  
  
Is Ray still going to Bob's for that poker night thing they do?   
  
I think it's Roland's turn to host but yes, he's going.  
  
So...my boyfriend will be all alone tonight?  
  
No  
  
???  
  
Sorry, I have plans.  
  
?   
  
My boyfriend's coming over for dinner.  
  
Lucky guy. What's on the menu?  
  
I put a beef roast in the crock pot this morning.  
  
French dip?  
  
Oui.  
  
Pomme frites?  
  
Non.  
  
Merde.   
  
Crushed roasted potatoes with rosemary and sea salt. That ok?  
  
Omg.  
  
ok. let me get this future single cat lady situated, I'll grab a bottle of wine and I'll be over.  
  
Sounds good. Are you going to sleep over?  
  
Not sure how much sleeping we'll be doing...  
  
Sounds good to me. See you soon.  
  
xo   



	4. S4 E13

Patrick <3  
  
What do you want for Christmas?  
  
Um...  
  
C'mon, don't be such a guy about it.  
  
I'm not! But...Christmas is next week, David. You really haven't gone shopping yet? I've had your stuff under my tree for weeks. I bought all of your Hanukkah presents by Halloween...  
  
No, I did go shopping. But I wanted to see if what I got you is something you'd ask for.  
  
LoL I'm sure whatever you picked out will be great.  
  
Ok, yeah but answer the question.  
  
Seriously David, I'm not picky. I'll love whatever you bought because it's from you.  
  
You don't realize how hard it is to shop for you.  
  
Is it?  
  
No one has ever told me that before. Why is it so difficult? You know me better than probably anybody - you know what I like.  
  
That's the WHOLE problem!  
  
What do you mean?  
  
You're too practical! The things you like are so...  
  
I'm too practical?  
  
Look at your Amazon Wish List! You have an Excel manual, padded bike shorts and socks on your list.  
  
Socks, Patrick.  
  
Honestly, who the fuck puts socks on their wish list?  
  
Hey! Ok, firstly - it's the new Excel BIBLE and secondly: do not mock my thermal socks! They're Merino wool!   
  
Yeah, they're still fucking socks.  
  
I seem to remember cuddling with my boyfriend in front of my fireplace a couple of nights ago and he wasn't wearing much more than boxers and a pair of my socks under the blanket with me...  
  
Wasn't that you?   
  
It was you, wasn't it?  
  
Bc, I've only had one boyfriend in my entire life...  
  
I didn't say they weren't nice. They're just not a good gift.  
  
I'm your boyfriend, not your great aunt Ida.  
  
Lol. David my aunt steals napkins and sugar packets from Tim Hortons. She would never spend $35 on socks.  
  
As I was saying, lousy gift.  
  
Well, the shorts then. I got the bike trainer and the floor mat so I can ride all winter but I really want those padded shorts.   
  
If there's one thing you don't need, it's ass padding.  
  
Wow. Ok then.   
  
(That was meant as a compliment)  
  
Sure it was.   
  
I love your ass.   
  
:*  
  
Do you now?  
  
mmhmm. It's perfection. Nobody fills out a pair of jeans like you do.  
  
I thought you hated my jeans.   
  
not the rear view.  
  
lol ok, that's something at least.   
  
I can't believe I missed the opportunity to tell you that you can ride ME all winter.  
  
Yeah, you left me hanging there.  
  
This is the part when you tell me you love my ass, too.   
  
Sorry, I'd have thought that was implied by our aforementioned escapade in front of my fireplace.  
  
Only you could give me a semi with the use of the word 'aforementioned'  
  
That's a point in which I take great pride.  
  
There you go again, avoiding a dangling preposition.   
  
You are SO grammatically correct. it's sexy.   
  
Oh my god.  
  
And here I thought you only wanted me for my body.  
  
The secret's out.  
  
In all seriousness - I'm not buying you socks or padded shorts for Christmas.  
  
The Excel book then?  
  
You know spreadsheets turn me on. ;)  
  
lol you need therapy, Patrick.  
  
Seriously - what do you want? You jerked one out of the park with Hanukkah. I will not be outdone!  
  
You just made a baseball reference.  
  
Now I'm the one with a semi.   
  
Oh really?  
  
Maybe. It might have more to do with the picture I'm looking at rn   
  
And what picture is that, Mr. Brewer?  
  
The one I took of you in my bed a couple months ago.   
  
DON'T TAKE PICTURES OF ME SLEEPING, YOU CREEP!   
  
You were awake. Wide awake, David.   
  
Oh. That picture. I still cannot believe I let you talk me into that.  
  
I'm very persuasive.  
  
You're also very good with your tongue.  
  
Eh, comme ci comme ça   
  
Ok, just the fact that you took the time to find the cédille...hot.  
  
Obviously. I'm not a Philistine.  
  
You typed the accented letter too.   
  
Yes I did.  
  
Can I come over?  
  
Um. Yes.  
  
You have a key, you don't have to ask.  
  
I don't live there yet, I'm going to keep asking.  
  
That's fair.  
  
Don't bother packing pajamas.  
  
;)   
  
What if there's an earthquake? or a fire?   
  
Oh, there's gonna be an earthquake, alright.  
  
Ok, in spite of that comment, I'm still coming.  
  
Go ahead. Say it.  
  
You're not coming yet.  
  
Lol. See you soon.  
  
Can't wait. Love you.  
  
*muah*  
  



	5. S5 E3

Stevie  
  
ok, so here's the thing.  
  
I'm listening...  
  
I never actually asked him to move in with me or said the apartment was for "us"  
  
Mmmk What did you say? Specifically...  
  
I said I thought it was time we look for an apartment.  
  
Fuck.  
  
Yeah, you hear it now, huh?  
  
It was a general "we"!!  
  
How bad is this?  
  
How upset is he?  
  
Meh. Better than when ur ex crashed the bbq, worse than after your first kiss.  
  
That's a pretty wide spectrum of emotions...  
  
So is David.  
  
Touche  
  
relax. he'll be fine. we're at the café, he's eating, but not gorging. that's a good sign.  
  
Like, on the scale of Prince’s performance during the Superbowl halftime show and the Fyre Festival...   
  
I’d say you’re somewhere around Christopher Walken’s performance in that Peter Pan Live thing. You’re fine.  
  
So I don't need to do anything?   
  
Nope. No need to go digging thru Tina Turner's catalog just yet.   
  
u sure?   
  
yeah, pretty sure this will go down as a non-event. A minor blip.   
  
Thanks, Stevie. Ur the best.   
  
I know.  
  
Ur welcome.  
  
I should start charging you for this shit.  
  
Let me know if he orders more than one entrée and three desserts, ok?  
  
U got it.  
  
  



	6. S5 E4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stevie left out a few important details when she steals David away to a hotel in Elm Valley.

Stevie  
  
I'm sorry in advance.  
  
What?  
  
What happened?  
  
Stevie?  
  
Are you ok?  
  
Is David Ok?  
  
Hello?  
  


David  
  
Stevie Budd is no longer my best friend.  
  
Ok. Dare I ask?  
  
She dragged me out here under false pretenses.  
  
I’ve been fucking KIDNAPPED  
  
Explain please.  
  
Her boyfriend, or whatever the hell he is, is reviewing this hotel. That’s why we’re here.  
  
Well...that’s nice? I mean, she likes him a lot and you didn’t get to meet him before. I think it’s cute, she wants her best friend to meet her new guy.  
  
I was led to believe this was a bonding trip to go to the botanical gardens.  
  
I wanted to see the cherry blossoms.   
  
This is a waste of time just like that trip to Japan was.  
  
David, you could have still enjoyed Japan without the cherry blossoms.  
  
I’m going to pretend you didn’t actually say that.  
  
Can’t you…I dunno, go see the cherry blossoms by yourself?   
  
Did Stevie coach you?!  
  
huh?  
  
That’s EXACTLY what she said.  
  
and that's...bad?  
  
I will NOT be going to the botanical gardens by myself. Ogling cherry blossoms solo like some pervert; the very IDEA is anathema to my very being.  
  
Just trying to help.  
  
I know. She took off to bang her sexy blogger and I’m gearing up for some drunken karaoke.   
  
Well that’s fun, you like that.  
  
Yeah but I’m not drunk enough yet.  
  
How’s the Mariah selection?   
  
Surprisingly excellent.   
  
Well, once you’re tipsy, you’ll have a fun night.  
  
I miss you.   
  
I miss you too. I wish you were here.  
  
I do too. It’s been quite a while since we got a hotel room for our 18 month anniversary.   
  
That was a fun night.  
  
Sure was.  
  
I can actually hear you blushing rn.  
  
I am NOT!  
  
Prove it! You have 30 seconds to send me a selfie!  
  
Ok, maybe I'm blushing a little.  
  
You're so cute i could eat you alive.  
  
Promise?  
  
Don’t tempt me to steal Stevie’s car and drive home.  
  
What are you wearing?   
  
I'm at work David.  
  
So medium blue button down and jeans?   
  
Lol did you check the security camera? You can see me right?  
  
Call it a lucky guess.  
  
Gives me an idea though.  
  
I'm almost afraid to ask.  
  
What if you go to the back room and I log in to the CCTV?  
  
And then what?  
  
...  
  
...  
  
🍆  
  
Seriously?  
  
Why not?  
  
What if a customer comes in?  
  
Tell them to get the fuck out.  
  
What if your mom comes in?  
  
Same answer.  
  
I admire your willingness to add some spice to our sex life but I’m not sure about jerking off on camera for you. At work.  
  
Please?  
  
I'll consider it.  
  
What about a dirty Snap?  
  
Or a good old-fashioned dick pic?  
  
I only sext when I'm drunk.  
  
We sell wine.  
  
A lot of it.  
  
David...  
  
Please?  
  
How about you get me started?  
  
Give me five minutes to get back to my room.  
  
Ok. I'm here.  
  
Hi.  
  
It was pretty dead, so I closed early.  
  
I'm in the office.  
  
I'm logging into the security system.  
  
K  
  
OH MY GOD  
  
Hi David.  
  
You’re a lot more into this idea than I thought you were.  
  
Once I realized I could move the camera down to the desk...  
  
I guess I’m feeling myself tonight.   
  
You sure the fuck are.  
  
I’m gonna swallow my tongue. Go slower.   
  
I have plenty for you to swallow.  
  
Who knew a naughty exhibitionist wore such boring jeans?   
  
You told me once it matters more what’s IN the jeans.  
  
Clearly I was right.  
  
Jesus FUCK Look at you.  
  
Turn away from the camera. Let me see your ass.   
  
UUUUUGGGGHHH  
  
It’s a damn good thing the footage is in black and white bc now I’m blushing all over.  
  
Tell me what to do.  
  
Sit in the chair, one leg over the arm.  
  
Mmm...  
  
Slow enough for you?  
  
Go faster  
  
Like this?  
  
Fuck yes...  
  
It's difficult to do this and text. Can't concentrate.  
  
Put the phone down then.  
  
I want to watch you  
  
Jesus Christ  
  
You’re so perfect it’s sinful  
  
I bet that feels so good   
  
Omg, I know that face   
  
You’re so close   
  
SHIT.   
  
Enjoy the show?  
  
Safe to say yes, I did.  
  
That was fucking hot Patrick.  
  
I made a mess.  
  
I’m all sticky.  
  
Come clean me up.  
  
Fuck.  
  
You know I would.  
  
Lick me clean like a good boy David.  
  
And I’ll return the favor.  
  
We should have had sex before I left.  
  
We did...   
  
No, I mean like, the SECOND before I left.  
  
I hope you know what you’re in for when I get home.   
  
Counting on it.  
  
You gonna fuck me raw baby?   
  
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TALK LIKE THAT WHEN I CAN’T GET TO YOU!   
  
That’s a shame. I guess I won’t proceed with part two then.   
  
Part two?   
  
You got me thinking of another time I um...performed for you.   
  
Are you fucking kidding me?!   
  
Please tell me you don’t have that at the store.   
  
lol No, it’s in my room. Didn’t know I might need it today.  
  
But I was thinking about putting on another solo Skype show for you later.   
  
Interested?   
  
VERY   
  
Lol ok. Let me clean up and get some dinner – you should eat too.   
  
I know what I’d like to eat.   
  
Mm. Down boy.   
  
Not a chance in hell.   
  
lol ok. Go do some karaoke, I’m gonna eat and get home. Maybe I’ll grab some lube on the way back.   
  
We’re out?   
  
I’m out of the thick stuff. The three inch diameter dildo stuff.   
  
It’s not three inches   
  
It’s like the circumference of a soda can at most.   
  
Well it feels like a fucking freight train.   
  
Not that I’m complaining.   
  
Who knew my jock of a boyfriend would be switch and a size queen to boot?   
  
You totally knew.   
  
You figured me out.   
  
You bought me the damn thing, remember?   
  
And I fucking love it.   
  
UUUUUGGGH You’re such a TEASE   
  
It’s not teasing if I make good on it.   
  
And I will, if you’ll be watching.   
  
Oh, I’ll be watching.   
  
I love you.   
  
I love you too.   
  
See you later ;)   
  



	7. S5 E11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In celebration of National Coming Out Day, here's a text conversation between our lovebirds before David visits Patrick's apartment in the Meet the Parents episode.
> 
> If you're struggling with coming out like Patrick was, know that you're loved and supported.
> 
> If you need it, I've got a big free mom hug here for you.
> 
> xoxo

Patrick<3  
  
I’m gay.  
  
I noticed.  
  
No, I mean…I’m gay, not bi. I think that’s my orientation.  
  
Well, allow me to officially welcome you to the Not Straight Club. Your membership card and complimentary toaster are in the mail.   
  
Is it ok?   
  
Why wouldn't it be?  
  
?  
  
I don’t know. I know you aren’t gay.   
  
Like, you’re attracted to people, not just men.   
  
Ok, firstly, I’m attracted to you – not “people.” I’m not interested in being with anyone else. Secondly, labels are SO unnecessary Patrick. I love you, you love me, we’re together. That’s it. That’s the only label I need. I love you because you’re you; gender makes no difference. I’d love you the same regardless of packaging.   
  
Alright.  
  
Are you ok?  
  
Yeah. I'm fine.  
  
Your purposeful use of periods is not going unnoticed.  
  
What's on your mind? Talk to me.  
  
Patrick?  
  
Yeah. Thanks. It’s just…   
  
How did I not know this about myself?  
  
It’s actually more common than you’d think.   
  
I thought I wasn’t into sex.   
  
You’re sort of right – you aren’t into sex with women.   
  
I just thought I had a low libido or whatever.  
  
Well, not to be gross but if this is you with a low libido…   
  
You with an average or high libido would probably kill me.   
  
feel free to try though  
  
Be careful what you wish for.   
  
Ha. Bring it on, Brewer.  
  
I’m very into sex with you.   
  
lol glad to hear it   
  
Thank you for being supportive David   
  
You don’t have to thank me. I know you struggled with it at first but I didn’t know you were still having difficulty. You can always talk to me about it.   
  
I’m not really having difficulty with it. I like myself, I’m happier now than I’ve ever been in my life. I’ve just been thinking about it a lot recently.   
  
Any particular reason other than your birthday?   
  
You know me so well, it’s spooky.   
  
Well I ought to, no?   
  
I’m turning 31 but I feel like my life is just starting now. It’s a little daunting.   
  
When did you know?   
  
I was pretty young. I knew I was “different” as my Dad used to say when I was like, 5. I had a crush on Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe; that was probably the beginning of it.   
  
God that’s cute.   
  
You’re so cute.   
  
you sure you’re ok?   
  
Yeah, thanks.   
  
I love you   
  
Love you more   
  
I do have to break some bad news though…   
  
Oh?   
  
I was lying about the membership card.   
  
Well that’s just plain unacceptable.   
  
If that’s unacceptable, you’re really not going to like when I tell you about the complimentary toaster.   
  
I guess I’ll have to pretend to be straight then.   
  
Wait – straight people don't get toasters either.   
  
Not as far as I know, but I can ask Alexis just to double check.   
  
:*   
  
I’m so lucky to have you. I don’t know anybody else who’d be so patient with me.   
  
Yeah, because dating me doesn’t require any patience whatsoever.   
  
Total cakewalk   
  
Easiest thing in the world.   
  
Loving you is the easiest thing in the world.   
  
You know how to make me all warm and fuzzy.   
  
TBH, I was going for hot and bothered, not warm and fuzzy.   
  
Well, you do that too.   
  
I have something I wanted to talk to you about.  
  
Um...  
  
Nothing bad, just easier to talk about it in person  
  
Oh, ok.  
  
You're at home right?  
  
Yep. Want to come over for lunch?  
  
You read my mind. Ok, I'll be over in a few. Love you lots, birthday boy.  
  
love you too, best of boyfriends and best of men.  
  



	8. Chapter 8

Pbrew  
  
Hey did I leave my libretto in your car?  
  
Yeah! Sorry I forgot to text you.  
  
Oh good! I was getting ready to tear the apartment to pieces looking for it  
  
No need. Its still in my car.   
  
Cool.  
  
Hopefully Mrs. Rose won't be able to tell that I didn't practice the Two Ladies blocking.   
  
I'm still struggling with the dance break from Don't Tell Mama. I PROMISE I'm struggling more than you.   
  
Hey, can we grab a drink after rehearsal tonight?   
  
Don't we always?   
  
No I mean can *we* get a drink? Just us  
  
Oh.  
  
Yeah, even better!  
  
Cool. First round's on me.  
  
Nice.  
  
Everything ok?  
  
Everything's great!   
  
I just wanted to talk to you about something  
  
That sounds ominous. What did David do? Do I need to kick his ass?  
  
lol no thanks  
  
You can't see my face but I'm looking very doubtfully at my phone right now.   
  
You can put your eyebrow down. This is a good thing. A really good thing  
  
Well, now I'm intrigued...  
  
Tell me now...   
  
Not now. After rehearsal   
  
OMG  
  
O  
  
M  
  
G  
  
I KNOW WHAT THIS IS!  
  
PATRICK!!  
  
?   
  
Are you PROPOSING???  
  
You are, aren't you?  
  
oh god please tell me you're proposing to David!!  
  
Don't tell him, ok?  
  
AAAAAAAAAH!!  
  
I FUCKING KNEW IT!  
  
Is it ok?  
  
is what ok?  
  
Can I ask your best friend to marry me?   
  
Hmm.   
  
It is a tall order  
  
Indeed it is.   
  
I'm not really asking permission   
  
I know. You're asking for my blessing - which is so much sweeter!  
  
Is that a yes?   
  
of course it is! You're the best thing that's ever happened to him!  
  
He's my penguin.  
  
Ok, I'm going to ignore the saccharine-sweet disgustingness of that sentiment and just picture David waddling around without butt cheeks   
  
HAHA!  
  
how are you going to do it? fancy dinner? hot air balloon ride?   
  
We're going to go on a hike, then I'm going to ask him  
  
a hike?   
  
Yeah. Have you ever been to Rattlesnake Point?  
  
Um...in high school. We used to smoke weed there.   
  
It's nice isn't it? The view at the top?  
  
I honestly don't know - I don't remember ever making it to the top tbh   
  
Well you should check it out some time. It's beautiful, esp at sunset.  
  
This is David Rose we're talking about right? I didn't just wake from a coma and you happen to be dating another guy named David?  
  
Yeah why?   
  
David isn't exactly outdoorsy   
  
I know but I have a plan for that   
  
Picnic at the top?  
  
Bingo!  
  
That'll do it!  
  
Thanks, I think so too. He's been more willing to try stepping out of his comfort zone lately. I think he'll like it  
  
Can I see the ring?  
  
Yeah, I'll show you tonight. They're in my backpack - it's the one place I know David won't snoop.  
  
Well he's obviously going to say yes.  
  
unless he REALLY hates hiking  
  
as much as he hates physical exertion, he loves you. It'll be great!  
  
thanks Stevie.  
  
np. I'll see you at rehearsal. DON'T WEAR JEANS!  
  
shit. thanks for the reminder, I gotta get changed!  
  



End file.
